Assignment #1: Hugo

Dear Sally,

i'm writing with regard to technology convention in Las Vegas. i want to know about your plane.
i'm not sure when you will be getting back to the office.
Also i would like to give you the information to check in your laptop before the conference.
Plase find attached a sales report for the last business quarter, a spreadsheet of clients you should try to meet, a forecast of future sales and the new specifications for minimal requirements for use of our software.

Thank you so much and good luck.Sincerely,
Hugo

EDITED VERSION BELOW
Dear Sally,

i'm (I'm - ALWAYS USE THE CAPITAL I instead of the lower case i when using the pronoun) writing with regard to (your itinerary for the) technology convention in Las Vegas. i want (would like) to know about your plane (plans, as) i'm not sure when you will be getting back to the office.

Also i would like to give you the information to check in (on) your laptop before the conference. Plase (Please) find attached a sales report for the last business quarter, a spreadsheet of clients you should try to meet, a forecast of future sales and the new specifications for minimal requirements for use of our software.

Thank you so much and good luck.

Sincerely,

Hugo

JONATHON'S NOTES: Hugo, you've written a fairly clear message and used all of the target language. Hopefully, you will have enough time to write your next assignment by yourself. Good luck on your next assignment.

Assignment #1: Information, Jennifer

Dear Sally,

I'm sending this email regaring your convention itinerary. I'm not sure when you're getting back to the office. Please let me know about that. Also I want to know if you've got the new brochures.

I'm also sending attachement about some informatiton to check on your laptop.
Plase find attached a sales report for the last business quarter, a spreadsheet of clients you should try to meet, a forecast of future sales and the new specifications for minimal requirements for use of our software.

Thank you so much and good luck.

Sincerely,

Jennifer

EDITED VERSION BELOW
Dear Sally,

I'm sending this email regaring (regarding) your convention itinerary. I'm not sure when you're getting back to the office. Please let me know about that. Also I want to know if you've got the new brochures.

I'm also sending (an) attachement about some informatiton to check on your laptop. Plase find attached a sales report for the last business quarter, a spreadsheet of clients you should try to meet, a forecast of future sales and the new specifications for minimal requirements for use of our software. Thank you so much and good luck.

Sincerely,

Jennifer

JONATHON'S NOTES: Super, Jennifer! You've used the target language very well. This is exactly what I wanted. 100%! A+!

Assighnment #1 Akihito

Dear, Sally.

I'm writing the e-mail in regard to your itinerary. Could you let me know when you get back to the office. Also, do you have a right brochures? We need it to use the new ones at the conference.

You should check some information the attachments I've included here on your laptop before the meeting.

I'm looking forward sending me the email.

Best regards,

Akihito



EDITED VERSION
Dear, Sally. (Dear Sally,)

I'm writing the e-mail (emailing you) in regard to your itinerary. Let me know when you get back (will be getting back) to the office. Also, do you have a (the) right brochures? We need it in (to use the new ones at) the conference.

(Also,) You should check some information (the attachments I've included here) on your laptop before the meeting (convention).

JONATHON'S NOTES: It looks like you understand the basic format of the message, but you didn't have enough time to finish. Sometimes word selection is difficult, but after writing a few of these assignments, you will be a much better writer. Pay attention to my editing and copy it in your next assignment. Good luck.

Assignment#1,Sho

I am writing with regard to your itinerary. I am not sure when you will be coming back to our base in Alaska.Please let me know as soon as possible.

In addition, I also would like to make sure you have the blue-covered brochures"Our Alaska"

I have some other materials I'd like you to check on your laptop

EDITED VERSION BELOW

Dear Sally,

I am writing with regard to your itinerary. I am not sure when you will come (be coming) back to our base in Alaska. (Please let me know as soon as possible.)

In addition, I also would like to make sure you have the blue-covered brochures "Our Alaska" you are bringing to the conference and give you some information about it (REDUNDANT).

(I have some other materials I'd like you to check on your laptop before the convention.) Please find attached (an) MS word (document) including a sales report for the last business quarter, a spreadsheet of clients she (you) should try to meet, a forecast of future sales and the new specifications for minimal requirements for use of my (our) software.

Have a nice trip.

Sincerely,

Sho Ishikawa

JONATHON'S NOTES: Good job, Sho! You've used the target language well. I've also written a few transitional sentences to show you some examples of how to make your email flow logically. Keep up the good work.

assigement 1-becky, yu jiuan huang

Dear Sally,

I am writing concerning your itinerary.

Also, I want to make sure if you are taking right brochures. Please check that you have the new one before you leave town.

I would like to send information for you to check. Please kindly find attached a sales report for the last business quarter, a spreadsheet of our clients, a forecast of future sales and the new specifications for minimal requirements for use of our software.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

May I have appointment with you? Please let me know when you will coming back and what time suits you.

Best regards

Becky

EDITED VERSION BELOW
Dear Sally,

I am writing concerning your itinerary .

I would like to send some information for your reference (you to check). please (Please) kindly find attached for lastest brochures (THIS IS NOT IN THE ATTACHMENTS) a sales report for the last business quarter, a spreadsheet of (our) clients, a forecast of future sales and the new specifications for minimal requirements for use of your (our) software.

(Also, I wanted to make sure you are taking the right brochures. Please check that you have the new ones before you leave town.)

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact with me.

May I have appointment with you? Please let me know when you will coming back, and what time suits you.

Sincerely,

Becky

JONATHON'S NOTES: Becky, you've done a very good job. Your email is clear overall, but you did miss the part about making sure Sally is taking the right brochures (it's not an attachment). Good use of the target language. Keep up the good work.

Assignment #1, Rachael

Dear Sally,

Are you ready for the convention?
Anyway, I am writing regarding your attendance at the technology convention in Las Vegas,
First, I want to check your itinerary because I'm net sure when you will be getting back to the office.
Also, I wanted to check that you are taking the right brochures. Also, I will attach some information which you need including a sales report for the last business quarter, a spreadsheet of clients you should try to meet, a forecast of future saled and the new specifications for minimal requirements for use of our software. Maybe you can check these on your laptop computer before the conference.

Good luck at the convention!

Sincerely,

Rachael

EDITED VERSION
Dear Sally,

Are you ready for the convention?

Anyway, I am writing regarding your attendance at the technology convention in Las Vegas. First, I want to check your itinerary because I'm net (not) sure when you will be getting back to the office.

Also, I wanted to check that you are taking the right brochures.

Also, I will attach some information which you need. including (Please find attached) a sales report for the last business quarter, a spreadsheet of clients you should try to meet, a forecast of future saled and the new specifications for minimal requirements for use of our software. Maybe you can check these on your laptop computer before the conference. Good luck at the convention!

Sincerely,

Rachael

JONATHON'S NOTES: Good job! You've understood the assignment and written a clear message to your partner with the target language. Well done.

assignment1 Yuki Kakushima

Dear Sally,

I am sending this e-mail with regard to your itinerary. I am not sure when you will get back and I also wanted to make sure you take the right brochures. Please let me know about that.

Also, I am sending you some attachments, including a sales report, a spread sheet and some technical information, so please check your computer before the conference.

Best regards,

Yuki Kakushima

EDITED VERSION BELOW
Dear Sally,

I am sending this e-mail with regard to check your itinerary. I am not sure when you will get back.

and also not (I also wanted to make) sure you take the right brochures. Please let me know about that.

Also, I am sending you (some) attachment(s, including a) sales report, a spread sheet (and some technical information). therefore please (Please) check your computer before the conference.

Best regards,

Yuki Kakushima

JONATHON'S NOTES: Yuki, your writing style is very succinct, but you've covered all of the main points of the exercise. Well done. Please check to see how I've edited your writing to make it sound more natural and use use these kinds of phrases in your next assignments. Good luck.

PS: "Therefore" is used in formal essays or reports or when dealing with unfamiliar business associates (but in this case, Sally is well known to you because she works with you).

assignment1 Kenta Kato

Dear Sally,

I'm writing regarding your itinerary. I'm not sure when you'll be back to the office. Could you let me know before you set off?

In addition, I'm writing concerning the brochures you are taking. I want to make sure if you are taking the appropriate brochures for the convention.

Also, I would like to give you some imformation. Please find attached a sales report, a spreadsheet of clients, a forecast of future sales and the new specifications for minimal requirements for operating our software.

Good luck at the convention.

Sincerely,

Kenta

EDITED VERSION
Dear Sally,

I'm writing regarding your itinerary. I'm not sure when you 'll be back to the office. Could you let me know before you set off?

In addition, I'm writing concerning the brochures you are taking. I want to make sure if you are taking (the) appropriate brochures for the convention.

Also, I would like to give you some information. Please find attached a sales report, a spreadsheet of clients, a forecast of future sales and the new spefications (specifications) for minimal requirements (for operating our software).

Good luck a the convention.

Sincerely,

Kenta

JONATHON'S NOTES: Good work, Kenta! It looks like you didn't have quite enough time to finish, but you used the target language well. Keep up the good work.

Assignment #1: Information, Please!

You are one of the founders of SuperImage, a photo software company.

Send a brief message to your business partner, Sally Albright, who is going to attend a technology convention in Las Vegas. Make sure you use proper phrases beginning and ending the message.

State the purpose of your message: to check Sally's itinerary. You're not exactly sure when she will be getting back to the office. In addition, you want to make sure she is taking the right brochures.

Also, you want to give her some information to check on her laptop computer before the conference.

Your attachments will include: a sales report for the last business quarter, a spreadsheet of clients she should try to meet, a forecast of future sales and the new specifications for minimal requirements for use of your software. (Don't worry - in this post, you don't have to actually attach any info - you just have to write about it in the message). Good luck, Jonathon's business class!